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To
Swing or Not to Swing?
Thanks
to "Jargon" for contributing this article
"Sex is not
the answer, sex is the question, yes is the answer"
Swinging can be most enjoyable
and fulfilling for some and a marriage or relationship wrecker for
others. If you are considering getting into it for anything more than
fun, my advice is to forget it, unless of course you are both looking
for a change of partner! But please don’t consider wrecking someone
else’s marriage in the process!! It has happened before and probably will
again.
Whether you are a couple, a
single or otherwise, here are some hints on joining the swinger scene or
even carrying on with it.
Protection: -
First and foremost always
remember the most significant rule;
If you don’t want to catch anything nasty on your travels, always
use PROTECTION!!!! Even if you’ve known the people
for a while, you don’t know what they get up to when you’re not
around!!! The end result could ruin your life!!
What will you get
out of it? There’s a
lot to think about before plunging into this head on. What do you expect
to get out of it? Do you think you have a fair chance of success? Will
you enjoy it? Will your other half enjoy it as much? The short answer
isn’t easy, the pitfalls are many and the minefield is deep and wide.
There are thousands upon thousands of people who are interested in getting
into it, or are already into it are all, or mostly, looking for
something slightly different, as a rule. Many who advertise are seeking
a thrill by just looking, advertising, replying or receiving replies and
from there on there is a list as long as your arm, plus many who just
collect photos of others for personal satisfaction.
How far are you prepared
to go? But let’s begin with
the serious type of person or couple who really want to start out and
even include those who have already had some experience. What are they
looking for? Even before we get around to that, there is always the
geographic problem to consider, will they travel or only receive
visitors? Some ads even state that the couple do not travel, nor can
they accommodate, what do they do, use a local hotel maybe? You may find
the ideal people for you, but they live so far away as to make it
impractical to consider any relationship, except maybe a rare visit for
you or them, if you ever get to meet them. So you find a couple
who don’t live too far away and you want a bisexual
female, this is
where the fun begins, or not. It's OK if your wife/girlfriend is bi or
bi-curious, but no good if she isn’t and then again, is he bisexual,
are you, it's best to make sure first. Individual sexuality is the keynote
here and it’s always best to be wary of what’s written in other
peoples ads and something you should remember to ask them on the phone or
internet before arranging the first meeting.
Are you looking for the
same things? So what are they
looking for and what are you looking for? Do you have similar ideas?
People around the same ages? Younger? Older? Fat, thin, short, tall, big
dick, small dick, big tits, small tits, medium tits, shaved pubic area,
all over, or trimmed. Blonde, brunette, pretty, ugly, or pretty ugly,
etc. Full on partner swapping or just same room sex, (no swapping)
commonly known as "Soft swinging". Penetration or not? Do they
want to watch only, or does only one of them want to take part in a
threesome while the other watches? Some of this can be sorted by not
only carefully reading the ads, but also reading between the lines of these.
Are they experienced, novices, or somewhere in between? Which are you?
Once again, be sure to check before wasting time meeting anyone! Ads
often sound better than who’s on offer, or who you may eventually end
up meeting.
Your Profile.
Of course the best way is to pop an ad in
one of the many, many places available, but try to make sure that
everything is listed and I mean everything!!! Read other peoples ads and
decide if you can use some of what they write in your own. Avoid saying
anything you may regret later. Anything that you can think of that may
give the readers an idea of who you are and what you’re looking for is
a good idea to include. I can’t stress this enough!! Read it over,
don’t just decide one day to place and ad and do it there and then,
make a draft and add to it, modify it until you’re absolutely sure
that you include everything, almost, but not quite down to that
unsightly birthmark that most people never see under normal
circumstances. Always be sure to put your location, not address, just a
general area or town.
Be sure to say if you’re
looking for bisexual or heterosexual relations and some of the things you want
to do or try!! If a couple answer and the guy has an enormous dick, will
it hurt hubby´s feelings, will it hurt her `feelings` if she’s only
used to a medium, or whatever you wish to call it? When you’re
absolutely sure that you haven’t left anything to chance, place the ad
and you’ll probably find out that there was something you should have
added when you get the first reply and all the guy wants to do is anal
and you forgot to mention that she doesn’t like it up there, or maybe
she does?
A well worded ad might include
your general location, age, height, weight, hair colour, bust size,
penis size, sexual preferences and then details of who and what you are
looking for, stating age range, type, preferred area, whether you are
willing to travel or accommodate, or both. Some form of contact is
necessary and websites usually have a box where you can receive and send
replies. A mobile phone number is advised if you have to give one, as
opposed to a home number. A box number for a newspaper, magazine ad is
another way to keep you anonymous at this stage. Email is generally
safe, maybe a second address for your swinging activities, especially if
it’s a shared computer.
Always mention safe sex when
advertising, rule number one!! Never be tempted, male or female, to
forget that part, unless you have a death wish!! A vasectomy doesn’t
carry much weight in this area any more; it’s just not enough to know
that a pregnancy can be avoided! You can always choose to play the sex
lottery, but think of it as probably being a winning ticket every time
you do it without protection!! Many diseases are curable, but not all,
as we know and it’s just not worth the risk, no matter how much you
prefer bareback riding!! Apparently, so the medics tell us, oral sex
carries much less of a risk, but even then have a sniff before taking
the plunge.
Single guys have about as much chance of winning the lottery
as finding a couple or single female who
wants to swing, with exceptions of course, whereas single females
(unless they are really gross) have it all so easy. There are those guys
who wouldn’t even turn away the gross ones. I had a bet with my
wife that she would get lots of replies to an ad and I would get a big
fat zero, who do you think won the bet? Nothing to do with her being
gross, she’s very attractive.
Profile Pictures.
Whether or not to place a
photo with the ad is another problem. Do you show genitals or not? Is an
erect dick something that women or couples want to see, or even a gaping
pussy without much else shown? The answer to this isn’t so easy, but
my personal opinion is that a full body picture is more attractive with
the naughty bits and face covered; you can swap revealing pics with
people when you have made initial contact, if you all agree. Guys please
don’t send wife, girlfriend or intimate pics to others without the
other half’s permission, no matter how much the other party would like
to have them!!! Same goes for you ladies!! Could save a lot of
unnecessary rows.
There are many who like this
type of photo and that would probably include most of us, but again,
beware of the picture collectors!!
Decisions, decisions.
We all know that one partner
or the other suggested swinging first, don’t we? Of course the ladies
will say it was the guy who mentioned it first and that’s usually
true. There are an increasing number of women who decide that it would
be a good idea to liven up their sex life. We can only hope that this
could be due to women’s lib and that it isn’t because we’re not
that good in bed!!
Communication is the
key. So are we both up for it, or
does one of us have reservations? The only way is to talk about
it at length and be absolutely sure that you are both totally agreed to
give it a try, or even to carry on with it. Some people have tried and
found it to be less than they had hoped it would be, others find it very
satisfying, but it’s always a good idea to talk about how the other
half feels after each encounter and even before one. This alone can be
rewarding and for many it makes lovemaking even better at home. For
others, it can be a disaster from the outset and cause more than just a
row at home. If one sees the other having more fun than they are and it
can cause a problem, the best thing to say is that you were faking it
and expect, even hope for your partner to say the same. If we consider
this carefully, we should all hope that the other half has a good time
and isn’t faking it so that we can continue with our personal
enjoyment of the swinger scene.
Basic 'rules' of
Swinging. The rules of swinging, as most
of us should be aware, are quite simply common sense and number one is
always to remember that "NO" really means, "NO!"
I suppose "No thank you" is more polite, but there it is,
"NO" is better than not saying anything and getting into a
situation that you didn’t want to get into.
The others are mostly pure
common sense, although we may not all realise that.
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Naturally personal hygiene is
to be desired at all times, but please remember that a deodorant
doesn’t completely cover BO, although it’s fine to use after washing
carefully. The intimate areas, male and female, are VERY important in
this regard, nothing is worse than smelly bits in those regions and many
are put off oral sex if the odour is too strong. An anal douche before a
meeting is also a very good idea if you’re into backdoor sex.
-
Be nice to everyone at a
swinger gathering, party or club and hope that everyone is as friendly
as, hopefully you are. If approached by someone you don’t fancy,
don’t be rude to them, everyone is there for the same reason and we
all have the right to make ourselves available to others. If it’s a club, you can complain to the management if someone gets over attentive
and ignores your, "No thank you." Similar rules apply when
meeting people privately and first time meetings are usually better held
on neutral territory, a pub or club where you can get to know each other
without anyone feeling more or less comfortable.
First Swingers meet Getting started after the
first meeting can be easy or hard, it will depend mainly on how you
behave and how you see the others behaving during that initial meeting,
whether you take an instant like or dislike to them. A few drinks can
make things go well or even badly if the few drinks become more than
that. Be aware of your alcohol level in this regard, it tends to be a
tongue loosener and the foot can easily enter the mouth without warning!
A quiet chat will break any ice there may be and everyone can size up
the others to decide if there is any way forward to the sex side of
things. Try to discuss as much about your likes and dislikes as possible
on these occasions, so that everyone understands what the others are
into. It will be easier to get round to doing the business later this
way. At a swinger party or club
it’s much different if you don’t know anyone there and has to be
approached from another angle. Sometimes it can be more of a challenge
and good fun to chat with other people at these gatherings and decide to
do something on the spot, or maybe better to find somewhere more private
to do it. The Jacuzzi is always a good place to get to know strangers if
you make it obvious that you’re available and looking. A couple can do
this easily by caressing each other including the areas they wouldn’t
normally in public. If you are single you can also pick up on these
signals trying to catch their eyes to see if the couple are looking for
a guy/girl to join them and if you see this, move in and carefully reach
out to see if you are welcome to join in, it never hurts to ask either.
Couples should never over react if they have made it clear they are
doing this and as always a polite "No thank you" will be
enough if he/she isn’t who they want to play with. Bisexuality can be a problem
at these venues, but many bisexual people are ready to allow for the
possibility that not everyone they come into contact with will share
their sexual ideas and many are happy to respect the wishes of heteros
to be able to enjoy some extra fun. If you’re worried about being
approached in that way, the answer as always is to make it clear
immediately someone does anything you’re not comfortable with. It
doesn’t need to be a barrier to enjoyment and some people have even
discovered feelings in this direction that they never dreamed of without
ever thinking about it.
To quote Rodney Dangerfield,
"Being bisexual doubles your chances of a date."
What to wear? This should all go without
saying, but many people forget how important it is.
Wear something sexy that tells
others who you are when you go to a gathering or even a first meeting, a
nice dress for her, sexy as possible if at a club and smart or smart but
casual gear for him. Underwear may eventually be displayed, if only for
a short while, so remember to choose carefully and make that statement.
This goes for the guys as well, best to leave the Y fronts or saggy
pants at home and treat yourself to at least a couple of pairs of
briefs, or even snug boxers.
Time to play?
Will you be available when the
others are? Will they be available when you are ready? Organising the
time and place of any event isn’t that easy and swinging is included
in that. Will she be able to perform and not be suffering the menstrual
cycle? Some folk like to have sex in the daytime and some can only have
swinging sex in the daytime for various reasons. Others prefer evenings
or nighttimes and this represents just one more obstacle to overcome
when considering swinging.
Addendum. How choosy are you and how
choosy are they? If you are too choosy you have little chance of
meeting the ideal people. First impressions are not always best, they
may be better than you first thought and really good in the sack, but if
you discounted them at first glance because they weren’t what you
imagined, best to think again.
Summary.
Protection. Timing. Sexuality.
Preferences. Age. Place.
Article kindly donated by “Jargon”
If you would like
to contribute an article please contact us
Avante
Swingers©
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