Big Handsome Men (BHM) 

OK. So you’ve heard of BBWs or Big Beautiful Women, but have you ever wondered what happens to the bigger bloke? Purely by gender he can’t be a BBW so what is he? He’s a BHM or Big Handsome Man.

The BHM is just beginning to grace the swinging stage by his new name although big built men have been on the scene for a long time. Not just in swinging but in the world of sex in general. Take Ron Jeremy for instance. The porn god is a legend but he’s no athlete unless Sumo wrestling or darts can be called athletic. So big men have been around for many, many years, so have big women but when the politically correct brigade decided the word fat was an offensive word especially to women who were striving for equality and justice, the term BBW was born. (Interesting point to note here…who suddenly decided the word “fat” was a derogatory term???…..some of us would rather enjoy the sensuality of the larger person than the more “athletic” version) Now in the interests of equality and distancing themselves from their previous positive discrimination, the PC warriors have coined the phrase BHM.

There was an age when being portly was considered a sign of wealth and good living however this changed as the medical world declared that being overweight leads to early death due to the strain it puts on your heart. Then the media decided that Kate Moss and Jodie Kidd were attractive and anorexia is what every teenage girl wanted for Christmas that year.

Each year the tabloids and the glossies try to put right the damage they’ve done to the next generation of women by declaring that being curvy is ‘in’ this year. But then people who previously championed being a chubby (Sophie Dahl, Vanessa Feltz et al) lost weight and contradicted their previous comments by shouting from the page of every magazine that they were never really happy being overweight and a lot happier now they weighed the same as a French fry.

Think back to Marilyn Monroe. She was a size 16 and the focus of desire for a whole generation of masturbators. And now it’s declared that the UK average dress size is a size 16. So why then do most high street shops stock up to size 14 and end the range there? Are the designers still trying to cram big bodies into small wrappers? Lets look at designers for a second. Why do super models have to be so thin? Could it be that the vast majority of top fashion designers are men?

These are the problems women of larger proportions face. Realistically most men don’t enjoy the thought of rolling around with a boney size 6 or 8. Some will accept a size 10 at a push but generally they would prefer size 12 to size 16.  So what about women? Is today’s society still so male orientated that men can be whatever shape they like and still not be told what shape they have to be? Where women are concerned men will either see attractive or not attractive so superficial are they. Most men couldn’t guess what size a woman was and even the male preoccupation with breasts hasn’t taught them much with quite a large number not even knowing what cup sizes are. In a man’s mind there are 3 sizes for women: skinny, fit and fat. Women are different. They will break a man’s body down. They will see the good bits and bad bits and weigh up the balance. A woman will see finer details like eyes, a smile, a bum, a six pack, pecs etc. Lets be honest for one second. Robbie Williams? What the fuck is that all about? He looks like a Bulldog licking piss off a nettle but he has a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’. He’s confident, he’s a show off and he loves himself. Do women find that attractive?  He can’t sing and his songs are absolutely dire since Guy Chambers split.(Editors note:- This is the opinion of our writer and in no way does it reflect the opinions of us at Avante Swingers!! Lol) David Beckham runs like he needs a shit, he wears women’s clothes, he talks like a 7 year old and he’s not going to beat anyone at a pub quiz. What do women see in him? Not money surely? (Editors note:- see previous editors note!!)

BHM. Its personality that can make all the difference. If a bloke is romantic, kind hearted and has a good sense of humour he can win almost any woman. A woman doesn’t care what size a man is if he is beautiful inside. Men by and large are different. They do care what a woman looks like and would prefer a size 8 total bitch with zero personality to a size 18 who is going to love and cherish them and be a superb wife and mother. So maybe that’s why there hasn’t been such emphasis on BHMs before. Has there been any need? And ask yourself a question: would you really want to spend the rest of your life worried that if you put on a few pounds you’ll be dumped? And if its sex you’re worried about ask yourself this: Are you happy limiting yourself to sleeping with people who are so vain that their main concern during sex is what they look like?

Avante Swingers©